Just for Kicks

Famed lawyer Johnny Cochran was duck hunting in Montana recently. When he attempted to cross a fence into a field to retrieve a duck he had shot, rancher suddenly rode up on his horse, jumped off, and asked Mr. Cochran what he was doing on his property.

"Retrieving this duck that I just shot," he replied.

"That duck is on my side of the fence, so now it's mine," replied the rancher.

Mr. Cochran asked the rancher if he recognized who he was talking to.

"No," replied the rancher, "I don't know, and I don't care."

"I am Johnny Cochran, famous lawyer from Los Angeles," came the reply. "I am the lawyer that got O.J. Simpson off. I'm the reason he is a free man today. And if you don't let me get that duck, I will sue you for your ranch, your horse and everything else you own. I'll leave you penniless on the street."

"Well," said the rancher, "in Montana the only law we go by is the 'three kicks law'."

"Never heard of it," said Cochran. "What's that."

"You want to come onto my land, so I get to kick you three times. If you make it back to your feet and are able to kick me back three times, that duck is belongs to you."

Cochran thought this over. He grew up in a tough neighborhood and figured he could take this old rancher. "Fair enough," he said.

So the rancher kicked Johnny violently in the groin.

As Cochran was doubling over, the rancher kicked him in the face, and when the lawyer hit the ground, the rancher kicked him in the ribs.

After several moments, Cochran slowly made it back to his feet. "All right, now it's my turn," Cochran said.

"Aw, forget it," said the rancher. "You can have the duck."

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