Bill at the Pearly Gates

Bill Gates dies and finds himself at the Pearly Gates of Heaven. But instead of being greeted by St. Peter, he is met by God himself.

"Well, Mr. Gates. We can't quite figure out what to do with you," God says. "On the one hand, you developed many wonderful things which helped mankind throughout the world and we should let you into Heaven. On the other hand, you were the most ruthless businessman we've ever seen, so you should be sent down to Hell.

"So in your case we're going to do something we've never done before. We're going to let you experience both Heaven and Hell for a few days and then YOU can choose which one you want. Where would you like to start?"

Gates thought for a few seconds before answering. "I guess if I have to experience both, I might as well get Hell out of the way. Let's start there," he said.

So God escorted Bill Gates down to the entrance to Hell and sent him inside.

What Gates found was nothing like he had expected. It was a beautiful South Seas island with cooling trade winds, all the tropical food you could want, soft Polynesian music in the background and naked young women running and laughing on the beach.

A couple of days later, God retrieved Gates and sent him into Heaven. Bill Gates found it boring, however. It was exactly what he had expected. Angels were floating among the clouds and playing their harps. There were paths to walk through an idyllic pastoral scene. Everyone was happy, but it was boring.

God came for him and returned Bill Gates to the Pearly Gates to make his decision.

"In all due respect," Gates said, "I think I liked Hell better than Heaven. I choose to go to Hell."

So God sent him down to Hell for eternity. But a couple of weeks later he was curious as to how Bill Gates was doing, so God went down to Hell for a visit. He found Gates in a cave, chained to the walls, fire licking around his feet and screaming while henchmen whipped him with red-hot chains.

"How are you doing, Mr. Gates? Are you happy here?

"Oh God, this is horrible. It's nothing like what you showed me before I chose to come down here."

God just smiled.

"Oh that's right. I almost forgot. You saw the demo version!"

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